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12/25/2010

stupid feelings...








I hate waiting emails from you.
I hate that I'm checking my phone every 3 minutes to see if I have missed any ringing from you.
I hate to re-read the texts that I have sent you or received from you.
I hate that even though I'm telling you how you are important to me, you seems like you never care.
I hate you because you makes my day.
I hate that I always care about you so much.
I hate that you make an eye contact and won't tell me anything or smile.
I hate that I can't read your mind.
I hate that I don't know what you really mean when you talk.
I hate that I get happy when I receive text from you.
I hate when you say "let's go get coffee sometimes" and you never fix the date.
I hate when we finally fixed the date and you call other friends to join us.
I hate that when you talk, you seems like you mean something else but you never talk about your true feelings or thoughts.
I hate that you seems like you are playing with my feeling for you.
I hate that you might know how I feel about you.
I hate that I'm thinking about you in midnight and you are probably having a nice sleep.
I hate that we don't get any closer even after we went for cup of coffee or lunch together and had a great time together.
And, I hate that I'm a poker-face girl, who can act exactly the same as him, who's good at hiding
true feelings and behave like nothing happened before.
Fuck it.

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